5 of the worst Star Trek episodes ever
In honour of the latest Star Trek movie (which we shall not talk about) I present you all with the 5 worst Star Trek episodes ever. Believe it or not, this isn’t just an opinion based list. There was heavy and painful research involved in compiling this list – I had to spend hours talking to Trekkies.
5. Star Trek Enterprise – The entire series
Sure this isn’t a single episode but I honestly could not pick a single episode from Enterprise that was worse than the rest. They were all unbelievably bad. They were so bad that after watching the show I felt like I had to give Catherine Hardwicke a lifetime achievement award for her fantastic work on ‘Twilight’. The storylines were shocking, the villains laughable and the main cast atrociously bad at portraying their various characters. The one saving grace? Fan boys could get their rocks off to Jolene Blalock as the Vulcan T’Pol (or as I like to call her, Tea Pole).
4. Spirit Folk – Star Trek Voyager Season 6
While ‘Threshold’ is considered to be the worst Voyager episode ever because of the ridiculous story of Captain Janeway and Tom Paris turning into giant newts and breeding, it still holds a special place in a few trekkies hearts. ‘Spirit Folk’ on the other hand does not. Holodeck episodes have always been notoriously cheesy and this episode took it to a whole new level.
To sum up, Tom Paris and Harry Kim take a visit to the holodeck created town of Fair Haven. While there the holographic people of the holographic town see the Voyager crew affecting their world and thus believe the crew to be using ‘dark faerie magic’. So what do the holographic people do? They attempt to turn off the holodeck safeties by shooting holographic bullets at one of the real world access panels – and it works.
No more needs to be said.
I would take breeding newts over a joke like that any day.
By the way, the writer of this episode is Bryan Fuller. A man who should be shot on principle, not only for his terrible writing skills experienced in Voyager, but because he also penned some of the crappier Heroes episodes.
3. The Way to Eden – Star Trek (The Original Series) Season 3
The infamous space hippies episode.
The Enterprise is ordered to chase down a stolen spacecraft that is heading for Romulan Space. As you may have guessed by my first line, the occupants of the stolen craft are six space hippies who refuse to accept authority man. They’re trying to find the mythical planet of Eden – a planet that, as you may have guessed, is supposed to be a paradise.
For your viewing pleasure the episode also includes loltastic sing-a-long scenes and some lovely faux hippie clothing.
While the episode certainly isn’t the worst episode ever, it is ridiculous enough to earn a place on this list. The episode had a great opportunity to explore many social and philosophical questions of the time and instead it ended up making a mockery of it all and proved that the writers had no idea what the hell the youth movements of the 1960′s were really about.
2. Masks – Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 7
This was a tough call. There were two shockingly bad episodes in the Next Generation that could have taken this place – ‘Masks’ and ‘Shades of Gray’.
‘Shades of Gray’ was the disappointing last episode of season 2. Riker gets poisoned by some random plant on an away mission and ends up in a coma where he recaps over some of his happy memories. In other words, it was a recap episode with flashbacks from the previous episodes. While it was bloody awful, so much so that even the producers were embarrassed by it, they did have an excuse for doing this – they had run out of money and there was a writers strike going on.
There was no excuse however for ‘Masks’.
In ‘Masks’ the Enterprise is busy studying an 80 million year old comet. While studying the comet, they discover a construction which contains alien artifacts which are in fact an ‘archive’ of an Ancient culture very similar to the Aztecs. Something in this ‘archive’ ends up taking over Data’s positronic network and gives him a split personality disorder. The damned ‘archive’ also begins transforming matter on the ship turning rooms and equipment into stone, snakes and vines. At the end, Picard has to put on a silly cardboard mask and lull Data to sleep.
Considering the set design that had to take place, and therefore the massive amounts of money that had to be spent, to make this episode possible it was just utterly abysmal – and quite offensive to any fans of the Aztec culture if you think about it. Honestly, this episode was so bad it should have been an Enterprise episode.
•1. Spock’s Brain – Star Trek (The Original Series) Season 3
It’s only right that the series that started the franchise should hold the coveted place of worst episode ever. ‘Spock’s Brain’ earns that place without any other episode coming close.
The first episode of the very average season 3, ‘Spock’s Brain’ sees the Enterprise boarded by a strange female character who proceeds to render everyone unconscious and steals Spock’s brain. Captain Kirk and the rest of the crew then go on a hunt to get it back before Spock’s body dies.
Of course you would think that Spock would die straight away but then you would be wrong apparently. Instead, Spock gets a lovely artificial brain which will keep him ticking for a few hours – and ticking is the right word. This artificial brain, despite being a creation of the 23rd century ends up having Spock make clockwork noises every time he moves.
William Shatner has called it one of the worst episodes ever and Leonard Nimoy stated that he was embarrassed throughout the entire shoot. ‘Spock’s Brain’ is the epitomy of bad Trek and will forever live on in many Trekkies’ memories as the worst episode ever conceived.
A famous line from the episode itself really sums it all up: “Brain and brain. What is brain?”.
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I can’t believe that Trekkies think Enterprise was bad.
In my mind Enterprise was undoubtedly the best series. I thoroughly enjoyed just about every episode. I was under the impression that most Trekkies were really disappointed when Season 4 concluded the series.
Hmm…how can I compare this.
It’s like how Star Wars fanboys view Episode 1 – 3
Or how Terminator fans view Terminator 3.
Whilst enjoyable to many, some of the hardcore fans feel cheated and violated
To be fair, I took the majority opinion of the Trekkies I hung out with – along with my own opinion. There was one guy that believed the show was tolerable and even started to become highly enjoyable in season 4. There’s always more than one view of things.
Unfortunately, the network Enterprise was being aired on no longer wanted to be affiliated with such a show and canned it so we’ll never know what it could have become.
This was fascinating and hysterical! Now I want to watch all those episodes again!!
Just goes to shows different peoples tastes.
I was bored mindless by every single one of the Star Wars. Was a big fan of Terminator 1 and 2 but thought 3 was stupid. And for the large part I’ve really enjoyed most of the TV series.
I have always been a big fan of Star Trek. Like borderline convention attending fan (fortunately my social life has saved me from wasting time on things like learning to speak klingon). I’m the kinda star trek fan that almost gets giddy when an episode introduces some new technology or race. I’ve even done Star Trek movie marathons and watched every Star Trek movie back 2 back in an all-nighter. Even so I always found the previous Star Trek series to be lacking the same level of authenticity and depth in the characters that Enterprise had. I found enterprise more believable as a story.
mmm I wonder what the results from a poll would be
SheBee!! Poll!!!
Actually I think that’s what has been the most awesome thing about Star Trek as a franchise. There’s a series that will appeal to everyone’s tastes and everyone has their favourite.
You should look into that learning Klingon thing though. Klingon speaking bands are rather popular at the conventions
As a hobby I play guitar and write songs. I just had a crazy idea about learning Klingon and writing a kids song about kittens, rainbows and ponies sung in Klingon.
Or maybe a Mother’s Day Song.
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To Gareth who thought Enterprise was the best.
Enterprise offered hot women and space battles, that appeals to some but it has NEVER been what Star Trek is about. Star Trek at its best is about Sci-Fi, putting a modern day issue in a new light. Racism in “Let this be your last battlefield” slavery and ethics of making sentient AI in “The measure of a man”.
That is trek. Not the “it is cold in space” thight suit on only the women of Enterprise and Voyager.
the worst episode ever was definitely either Sub Rosa, or code of honour for TNG, and for Voyager, Prototype, and Threshold were real shockers.
Enterprise was terrible. I could rant all day about how bad it was and I probably will as I am off work today with flu, running a temperature, feeling quite delerious and uninhibited.
The worst episode of all though, from Enterprise has to be, without doubt ‘Dear Doctor’. That has to be the worst episode in all the TV Star Trek franchises and for three basic reasons.
Firstly, it tries to hard sell the theory of ‘Intelligent Design’, thoroughly discredited now.
In the episode, the ‘Menk’ are shown to be evolving in a certain predetermined direction, that’s not Darwinian Evolution that is Intelligent Design!
Secondly, Doctor Phlox uses the lamest argument ever for justifying genocide through inaction, that of self-interest and naked ambition.
He asks Jonathan Archer how he would have liked it if someone had helped the Neanderthals. Presumably, being Starfleet, Archer would have been overjoyed, thrilled to bits, to be given the opportunity to share a planet with another species.
Taking the line of argument Doctor Phlox uses for not giving the ‘Valakians’ a cure to their disease, you could justify almost any crime, in history. You could say that the American Indians were meant to die of chicken pox and the common cold or Jonathan Archer ‘might’ not have become the first white American captain of The Starship Enterprise. You could argue the Jewish holocaust was meant to happen or ‘perhaps’ a descendent of a Jew could have become the captain of the Enterprise instead of Jonathan Archer, maybe even one of William Shatner’s distant relatives. Oh no! Thank God, and his Intelligent Design, that never happened!!
Thirdly, worst of all crimes, in my opinion, the episode stupidly and simplistically draws a line, between ordinary disease and genetic disease.
All disease has a genetic component. Viruses use genes to spread; bacteria battle your immune system and flourish if you have not evolved some form of genetic defence. The episode is partly in the form of a narrative from the perspective of a Doctor so that mistake is unforgivable. Aaargh!!! Awful episode! I hate that episode so much!!!!!
I HATE YOU ENTERPRISE!
Gobs, we can totally do a poll if you want. Send me the options you want in it and I’ll create one for you.
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