I’m back from afar but still so very close.
It’s been a while my lovelies. I am sorry about that, it’s this online/offline life thing that has me otherwise occupied. You see, I’ve been tweeting on the DM side of things to a married man and he keeps me oh so occupied. It’s dangerous and fun and amusing, all at the same time. But gossip geek does not gossip about herself, I’m told. Thank god the editor of this here magazine isn’t after me making friends because I’m not quite sure how many I’d gain confessing these things… besides, don’t dare judge me – I know quite a few couples off-hand that have entertained their hormonal needs with persons other than their other half. But I maintain the mantra “speak no evil, hear no evil” here.
So onto the good stuff:
Apparently Heidi (@SnowGoose ) and her beau @ShaunCusters accompanied @SnappingTurtle and some unknown male to the poor little South Coast this past week. I’m sure the banana province is suffering a bit of whip lash of late since I am led to believe SheBee is there too now looking after her very much alive and well but bullet-shot brother (by the way, dear Editor, I am pleased he survived to tell the tale). Fallen heros, crime and whiplash aside – have you actually seen what dear Heidi looks like?
My god girl, have you never heard of sunblock? At least you’re upholding the Vaalie tradition of resembling a lobster after a lekker-by-die-see vakansie. Am interested to see if that one will peel or if she can hold her tan.
@BergenLarsen and @8unni have entered into a relationship recently, with Bergen adopting the bunny’s offspring also known as MiniBunni. He also ditched the whole caveman look and shaved off the beard. Apparently it was to scare off the ladies. So, Bergen, now that you’re clean shaven are you beating them off with a stick yet?
Speaking of illicit affairs, Laura-Kim, who ARE you lusting after? Someone in Cape Town, according to your blog, hmm?
@MsBehavn stirred quite the stir on twitter today. She had @SwissTwist in a, errr, twist and @JHBPRINCESS removing her panties. Why, you ask? Oh nothing special, just this little piece of erotic trivia made of excellence. There’s a three-part series of them too.
Apparently we hear @SamWilson1 is suing the pants off @Tertia for stealing the pants off @Andreas_Spath. Oh, did you hear? Her Unborn is Sam’s husbands. And she found out on her birth day, nog al. Not coshure, ladies, not at all. But then again, look at what Tertia has to put up with at home. Look especially at where the husbank’s hand is. In the words of fabulous @MyLifeScape: “oh em gee”.
Have you dears heard of Blake Black? I’m sure SheBee’s got a crush on him because she keeps tweeting about how excited she is for him to move to South Africa. He’s a Yank, I wonder how long it’ll take her to have him show off his boerewors, if you know what I mean… At any rate, welcome Blake, in all your six-packed torso I-want-to-eat-you-for-breakfast-goodness.
In keeping with the theme of all things manly, when the devil will this #IPL nonsense end? Our boys attention spans are being ripped away from where they should be as we tweet! It’s driving me to strong drink, I tell you. Cricket. Yawn.
@AngelMind had a bit of a rough week with her son the knuckle head. He was caught at school with a… shall we say: “herbal infusion” of sorts. Shame darling, I do hope he sees the light. Thank goodness for your @Glugster, whisking you away for dirty weekends in the bush, right? Hell, at least some of us are getting laid.
@ExMi’s mother has joined the twitter crew. Say hello to ExMi’s maker, @TotallyCooked. Having met her in person, believe me when I say she is. I do suppose ExMi had to come from somewhere though…I wonder if you got that cleavage from your mommy. Maybe some of us should show her those Happy Birthday Afrigator pics on cleavage day, don’t for one second think they escaped me.
To end off, I’d just like to remind you all to check out GatorPeeps, created by the very sexy @JustinHartman and @Stii. Through long nights of coding and man-love, they managed to put together this little masterpiece. Well done boys.
vincenthofmann
SheBee
AcademicGeek
gogi
gobz
cath-jenkin
JuicyJustin
BlindCripple
supercopygurl
Green_Guerrilla
Cassey
romeogeek
steve-tech
beetle001
“herbal infusion”!!?!??!
Must remember that one… Wheeeeeeeeee- I’m famous! And I’m getting laid!!
LOL love it!! Laura’s going to laugh, she thinks everyone knows who it is!!
Aaaagh! My eyes! Those legs are terrible! Oh wait, they’re mine *blushes*.
Yes, dear Gossip G33k, that is pretty bad sunburn, you could even say I’ve cooked my goose. It is more painful than than a bikini wax with acid covered fly-paper. (Not that I have a cooking clue what that feels like, but hey).
The ‘Unknown Male’ of whom you speak is @SnappingTurtle’s Lurver @Peter_VS, or booboo, as he is affectionately known
And don’t hold your breath for a tan, these legs will definitely peel… I’ve never tanned in my life! I’m a snowgoose remember? :p
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – No no no since Bergen and I have enter into said relationship I shall be beating them off with a stick!!!
@SnowGooseSA – Lies I’ve seen you tan … it’s just normally a costly affair
Love the article been missing some good juicy gossip!
I must admit, I’m quite put out by this rubbish relationshit I’ve only *just* heard about.
I was sure the bearded man was destined to be *my* star-crossed lover.
I thought I was dating more than just @8UNNI if rumours were to be believed. Either that or I was cheating on her with another young lass @CraigN caught me with, and the lass I took to the cricket and… *shuts up*
Ohhhhhh a 3some then a 4some!!!! I’m liking this relationship more and more!!!!
Bergen will you Marry me?
Heya South Africans!
Paul just told me what ‘boerwors’ is…
oh man you guys are a hoot!
I think Sheena has just never seen abs before.
For those who do not know who I am and what I do, check out my blog at http://www.blakeblack.com
looking forward to being in your awesome country again real soon and meeting up with you guys!
am glad my bf is not on twitter, because no doubt @tertia would try to steal him too!
oh, @MsBehavn is a naughty little minx! I was definitely loving every ‘twisted’ tweet.. can’t wait for more.. I hope @JHBPRINCESS managed to dry her wet knickerswith in time for today’s instalment!!!
Oh bwahahahahaha I made the gossip colum ;-p
I am feeling so honoured
LOL @Jenty – I am still sure most people do know who it is
hahahahaha It’s more than a three part series … just saying!
@msbehavn – snort. send.
haha, yay – i am in an article – with my mystery luvver! … well, he was a mystery until @snowgooseSA blurted out his identity!
Well, *I* know, of course, it’s pretty bloody obvious, but this wasn’t my article to gossip in…