If you didn’t tweet it, it didn’t happen.
There’s an old saying ‘if you didn’t tweet it, it didn’t happen’. Well, actually, it’s not old. I only heard it for the first time today, from @byronrode via @danbenjamin. So, basically tweeting an event confirms that event’s existence. Proof that it happened. I tweet about everything. If you follow me, you probably already know this.
I tweet about everything. With 13,600 tweets under my belt I can I really mean it when I say I tweet about everything. I tweet about feeding my Kid, cooking dinner, doing the laundry, vaginas, going to the shops, bathing my Kid, fighting with The Boyfriend, showering, eating, smoking dope, having sex, masturbation, female vaginal-grooming. Penis size, ice cream, popcorn, bioplus, battery-operated toys and taking my dog to the vet. Chocolate Pudding Bath Milkshakes and Breakfast For Your Face. Drinking vodka, puking, dancing, singing, embarrassing moments. The works, you name it, you’ve done it, I’ve probably tweeted about it and given away the t-shirt. Twice.
Some people get annoyed with the frequency of my tweets. There have been suggestions that I tweet too frequently, or that I am not selective in my tweet content. Fuck that, I say. What must I censor myself for?
If I didn’t tweet it, it didn’t happen. Totally and completely one-hundred-cement agree with that. There are pretty much no limits on what I will not tweet about. But, just in case I’m the only one who’s like this, let me put a question out there:
What don’t you tweet about, and why? And what tweets really annoy you?
vincenthofmann
SheBee
AcademicGeek
gogi
gobz
cath-jenkin
JuicyJustin
BlindCripple
supercopygurl
Green_Guerrilla
Cassey
romeogeek
steve-tech
beetle001
I don’t tweet about how often I
doshoulddon’t get lucky. Because that would be rude. And nobody’s business.*Ahem*
LOL!! Tweets every 5 seconds with links to arb things irritate me… not if it happens every now and then, but some people tend to do it all the time. Drives me mad!
I tweet about too much
Anything goes I think.
I tweet if something interests me or is worth mentioning – just like having a conversation or blogging… if I feel it’s worth mentioning, I’ll mention it.
Spammy tweets, self motivational tweets, pointless tweets, tweets with broken links, and sports tweets annoy me the most.
Overall it’s a personal thing, but I think over-tweeting *could* possibly minimise the point a bit – people stop reading if updates get too trivial and too frequent.
I totatlly agree with you what is the point if you are constantly censoring yourself.
SheBee – why don’t you just go tweet about periods, or something man!
Jeanette – the links-dropping thing also annoys me, unless it’s explained what you’re linking to. if there’s no explanation, i can’t decide whether or not it’s something i’ll be interested in!
Wenchy – apparently it doesn’t. that’s why people unfollow. What I wanted to know, is at what point do you unfollow someone? What is it that makes you think ‘okay, that’s enough from *that* person?’
Rox – when is the point of ‘over-tweeting’ reached? when is a lot of tweeting too much tweeting?
Bobbi – I love it when people agree with me. And there’s nothing I hate more than self-censorship!
somehow I haven’t really found the right way to tweet the word Vagina yet..
Said gauva a few times..but no Vagina yet..
..Will keep at it though!
“wwworld” <– That gets under my skin like an STD gets transmitted by stabbing someone with a flag pole.
Other than that, I don’t mind. Even if someone’s a chronic self-tweeter. I find the personal bits fascinating.
~ Wogan
I never really think about what I ought not to tweet, I pretty much tweet whatever I am excited about or what I am doing when I am in the mood to tweet it. i think that’s the point of Twitter… Recently I think I lost some followers coz I have been obsessing about Edward Cullen *happy sigh*
from Twilight in almost all my tweets. I don’t really get annoyed at other people’s random tweets coz I feel that would be rude coz I have my own random thoughts too that I have shared with them plus it gives me a chance to get to know them better in a way… But then again that’s just me.
@B – just keep following myself, @Garsen and @bergenlarsen, you’ll get the hang of this vagina thing!
@elle – sounds like me. i like the random tweets – more insight into the person!
People like you devalue twitter.
It could be said that twitter is an important tool for transmitting information around the world. Alerting people to events – the Mumbai terror attacks are one example often cited. It’s an excellent tool for marketing and business. It can assist (if used correctly) to inform people worldwide of important news items, like the swine flu outbreak or the recent SA elections.
When people tweet that they’ve just trimmed their pubes or just eaten a taco or whatever, it’s just arbitary background noise. It gets in the way of the important stuff. It makes it look like a playground toy, but then again maybe that’s your mentality.
The trouble is, your narcissism probably isn’t what everyone else wants to hear. The fact that you boast of your 13,600 tweets is clear evidence that it’s quantity not quality that counts for you. Do you go around shopping malls shouting that you saw a great pair of shoes in Nine West or that you just popped to the loo and had a big poo? Actually, maybe you do. Maybe you need to see a shrink about that sort of behaviour.
Perhaps they should develop a new version of twitter for people like you. Where interesting, exciting or important tweets are not allowed, but where people can go to see if @ExMi has blown her nose or if @Shebeegee took another cleavage shot.
Thanks for listening,
An ExMi ex-follower.
dear anonymous twitter user – strangely enough, i am not a shoe-fixated girl. I prefer to spend my money on my Kid (and yes, I tweet about him often) and I do not tweet about bowel/bladder movements, perhaps if i did you might re-follow me?
anyway. am glad you exercised your democratic right of un-follow, because clearly you needed ‘more value’ from twitter.
and i’m sorry you feel i wasn’t using twitter ‘correctly’. but if using it correctly means using it to find out about swine flu, and other such boring world-events, then i’m glad i’m not one of *those* twitter users, because fuck me, that sounds boring.
And yes. I’m one of those who believes twitter is a communication tool. not a marketing tool, because yes, as someone wise once stated, there is a difference.
I believe in communicating and exchanging ideas/life experiences/consumer experiences/ parenting advice through twitter. i believe that twitter is much more than a news/marketing tool.
Oh…. tool….now there’s a useful word.
Can be an insult too. But am not pointing any fingers.
Only elbows.
Dear anon
well I for one appreciate a tweet regarding trimming the pubes before I eat the taco.
I just so hate having to go to the dentist for a haircut…
Yeah, we love SheBee and Exmi! You ladies rock! Ignore the dumbass american comment
And I say american cause I believe that most internet users who preach crap like that are American
If twitter was intended as an “important tool for transmitting information around the world”, they wouldn’t let just anybody register now would they……
dumbass american
hahahahahaha…anonymous. wtf?
twitter wouldn’t have ANY value for me without shebee’s cleavage shots or exmi’s running commentary on her life.
but i guess that’s what makes you and me different.
Although I do agree with Anon with regards to a fair bit of his comments, you got to realise that if you don’t like what a particular person twitters, just unfollow. That’s what it’s there for. (Which is why I refuse to follow any ‘corporate’ twitterer).
I on the other hand find Exmi’s tweets for the most part quite a nice shot of entertainment while I’m wrestling with some tricky code.
Which I guess explains why I haven’t unfollowed her yet!
That’s the genius of Twitter. Just unfollow if the “subjective” noise gets too much. Simple and easy.
Wow, Anonymouse – yes that “e” is intended.
Firstly before I go on, do you not think it is a tad bit cowardly that you posted anonymously – or are you afraid of the repercussions that would come with a public “comment” – I think that you are cowardly, and if you follow me and choose to unfollow me because of my thinking that, then so be it. <y username is @byronrode.
Secondly, the fact that @ExMi has 13K+ updates does not show quantity over quality, and the fact that her follower base is quite high – much higher than that of mine and probably yours – will show that there are indeed a few people out there that actually find her random and humourous updates quite interesting.
I agree with @SheBeeGee that if you aren’t interested then unfollow.
Lastly, if you dont have the balls or vagina to stand up and comment publicly then please keep your comments to yourself.
So here we are commenting about tweeting. When does this self-referential stuff start getting ridiculous?
@Anonymoron … boo-freaking-hoo … I am absolutely livid that ExMi has lost you as a follower, shame, poor us.
Anonymoron, I am not quite sure who actually made these rules & regulations governing the use of Twitter, but when you find them, please can you send them through to me so that I can accept the terms & conditions of use, and use twitter as “an important tool for transmitting information”. Was that twitter’s original purpose? I don’t think so, in fact, I know so!
Actually, Anonymoron, if I ever got to see you in public, I will tweet about seeing you! I will add to the “arbitary background noise”, I’m such a badass!
A “playground toy”? Yup, you hit the nail on the head. If you were a true twitter follower, you would know that the sole purpose of twitter, right from the beginning, was for use as an outlet for people’s thoughts, WHATEVER THOSE THOUGHTS MAY BE. It is in fact still that “playground toy” but can also be used as a business tool if so needed.
So jump off your little dwarf donkey, and go cry somewhere else. And carry on hiding behind your anonymousness (it’s not a word, I don’t care), clearly you don’t want to be recognised having this opinion.
kthanxbye
@Paul – thats the funniest thing i have read all day.
Anon,
Twitter as defined by Twitter®, and I quote: “Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?”.
Read, idiot.
ExMi, I have to agree with this;
“…and i’m sorry you feel i wasn’t using twitter ‘correctly’. but if using it correctly means using it to find out about swine flu, and other such boring world-events, then i’m glad i’m not one of *those* twitter users, because fuck me, that sounds boring…”
And yes. Maybe that makes me a bad person. But it really IS fucking boring.
That is the beauty of being INDIVIDUALS. No? Also. Why fling “poo” when you can unfollow right?
And is it just me or is @anon really hostile?! Jeebus.
@Arkwife – All summed up! Thank you! @Anonymoron, die in a fire of wet dogs!
I also tweet about most things, but my tweets don’t get overly personal. I will not tweet about my vagina, see?
I hate marketing tweets and repetitive tweeting. If you tweet the same story over and over i will unfollow you. Also if i think someone is just saying something for shock value. Fakeness annoys me.
I cracked up at this; (Justin McCall) “So jump off your little dwarf donkey…” lol
@sleepyjane, myself – I nearly wet my pants and spat coffee over my keyboard. and @Paul’s comment about shaving pubes before eating a taco – man alive!
thanks @byronrode for this http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=twitter – perhaps this definition was written by our fave anon twitter user?
“A stupid site for stupid people with no friends, who think everyone else gives a shit what they’re doing at any given time.
Also lacks the functionality of other social networking sites, not that it matters because just like Twitter all those sites suck anyway.”
and just when you thought the definition of twitter couldn’t get any better:
“A form of chatline for social media “experts” to add thousands of random strangers and wank off to impress other social media “experts” by posting links to articles about the phenomenon of social media ”
there are no words. well. only 140 characters. and let’s see what we can do with them, right?
@SheBee – You know how funny our reader(s) would look on a little dwarf donkey?
See @anon. We’re not even tweeting and these people are entertaining. Charisma. They have it.
@justinmccall – Wahahahahaha – whats her name? The donkey that is?
Hey, go easy on the anonymous loser. Anyone that gets us another pic of SheeBee’s cleavage can’t be all bad.
@byronrode – Mrs. Anonymoron?
I wonder if anonymoose will rear its – and I do mean “its” (cant be gender specific due to *its* cowardly hiding) – ugly head anytime soon…
When people are fake I unfollow them, if they pretend to have a certain persona but slip sales quips in clumsily. Or when people overact a role I get bored, but hell if that’s what they want to do all the power to them its their prerogative and twitter can be a fun place to play, If i don’t like it I don’t have to read it. If we stopped doing the personal stuff and stuck to news and marketing the marketing wouldn’t really work would it? (if we want a place to view only ads we go to the classifieds) so as long as the marketing is honest and the fun stuff is original and authentic I’m all eyes
Jesus someone needs to get laid. STAT.
I’d rather hear about sex / tits and fucking rock ‘n roll than crap marketing boohah and depressing news.
The more personal, the better.
@lucasgo hear hear. i was waiting for someone to make a remark like *that*.
well said.
well said indeed.
You guys are so hurtful. Really.
But I suppose I expected nothing less. In the popularity contest of who can love ExMi & Shebeegee the most, you are all but competitors. It’s like Idols, but without the good looks and the singing. And the good looks. And the humour. And Liezl. Ah, fuck. OK, so it’s not like Idols at all. Poor analogy. But your desperate pandering is amusing to watch.
Honestly, despite the nastiness, I think I was pretty fair and honest in my assessment of how twitter can actually be useful and how, because I don’t want to hear every time @ExMi scratches her ass or @Shebeegee’s latest disaster or ailment or sob story or ‘thing’, I chose to unfollow.
(Thanks for the cleavage shot which was forwarded to me, btw).
I could argue that in following @ExMi, despite the purile and overly-frequent trivia that she spouts, you are all more than a little bit sad. So swine flu is boring to you, but the fact that @ExMi has woken up in a morning and is already performing her first bowel movement of the day is of interest?
See if you can step back just for a second and consider that comparison as objectively as possible.
And how does it look? Reasonable?
Ja. Quite.
You know, you’re more than welcome to continue with your lives and following whoever you like (unless you live in Iran), such is the wonder of teh interwebs. But please – not being Tehran-based – I am also allowed to express my views and my feelings on this subject, ne? Or is this place just for you sycophants?
Now, if you’ll remove your stubby cock from my dwarf donkey, Mr McCall, I’ll saddle up and ride off into the sunset.
k, as they say, thxbye.
“Anonyloser”.x
anonymous -
much love to you.
please tell me.
when have i EVER tweeted about bowel movements?
doo-doo is definitely on my no-no list.
my first tweet of the day is *always* ‘morning bitches’. predictable, but true.
and i dont think this was a contest to see who could love myself or SheBee the most. it was a mere pointing out that each person follows a twitter user for different reasons and assign value to tweets differently.
and you talk about reasonable? how reasonable does it look that you chose to remain anon.
you know, the comments would not have flown in the way they did, and elbows would not have been pointed in such a fashion, if you’d said your piece, and attached your name to it.
constructive criticism is valuable.
even more so when there’s a name attached to it. because after all, as twitter and this blog post has proven – it’s not the opinion that counts, but rather the person making the opinion.
anon – you have me all wrong. i’m all about the potty mouth, not the toilet tweets.
Anonymous,
I am certain that everyone will agree with me, and if they don’t, that is their choice, but my (read my/our) intentions were not to hurt you, but to merely point out that anonymous commenting is cowardly.
You had some valid points, and while I may disagree with them, they are your opinions and you are entitled to them.
I really do believe, and again, I will agree with @ExMi on this one that your opinion and comment would have been totally accepted had you just put your name to it.
It is common fashion on the internet, not just Nerdmag.co.za/twitter/or any of our personal sites, to flame anonymous posters who have something bad to say, and while many will disagree/agree with what you posted above, the fact that you do it behind a anonymous persona just opens you up to being targeted, its the way the internet has always been, and I do not see it changing at any time soon. Remember this is a community, and its members will stand up for one another, no matter how big/petty the problem or opinion may seem.
If you read through the rest of the comments you would have seen that there are many readers who agree in part with your opinion.
So, if my comments hurt you, I apologize, it was not my intention.
My opinion doesn’t count simply because I hide behind this veil of secrecy and secrecy? How bally irritating.
I don’t really mind the elbows and stuff. Such things happen. And they’re virtually elbows. No pain. Not even virtual pain, despite the virtual cut just above my virtual right eye.
I did say my piece. Let’s not pretend your ‘fans’ would have been any happier with me if I had a name. (Although, you forget that in a twist of parental bad taste, my name might actually be Anonymous Twitter User, of course). No – this criticism is because I dared to differ from your flock by having a donkey and speaking out against your frankly outrageous poor use of social networking.
Yours,
Jacob “Chop, chop, axe murderer, acid bath, tuffy bag” Zuma.
How is mine, or our use of social media outrageously poor, I would really like you to answer that!
If you wish to keep yourself secret, fine, but because you disapprove of the way @ExMi or myself choose to tweet, does that define it as poor.
just an FYI, I have had more success and gained many new clients via Twitter, and NOT ONCE have I been regarded as poor or to use the service poorly, so I think you are very much mistaken!
please, dear anonymous, educate me in the ‘proper’ way of utilising social networking then.
or at least provide evidence of how you’re ‘doing it better’.
because in my opinion, it’s exactly what it says. ‘social networking’. and when i see the twitter screen and it asks me ‘what are you doing?’ i tell it what i’m doing.
is that wrong?
because i still maintain.
if you don’t tweet it, it didn’t happen.
i left a part out of that last paragraph.
It should read more success etc via twitter then any other social networking model, including the *professional* services like linked in.
really, its an open community, if you dont like them or their updates don’t follow, its that simple.
And voice your opinion, thats fine, just be careful how you put it out their, because your slight twist of words, could also have been hurtful or demeaning.
and just to go back to the original point of this Nerdicle -
it was merely to get feedback on what tweets people enjoy/hate, what makes them laugh/what makes them frown and click ‘unfollow’
it was never meant to develop into personal attacks on anybody, whether or not they chose to remain anonymous or not.
it was meant to be a light-hearted fluff piece, and meant to be enjoyed by those with a sense of humour, which clearly our anonymous friend lost or never had in the first place.
Sorry Byron Rode, that comment was directed at @ExMi.
Merely the chronology of things that made it appear that I was addressing you directly. That and my terribly slow typing.
But I does define it [her use of social networking] in my book (and the libraries of many others, I would guess) as ‘poor’.
Sir, I am delighted that you have had some modicum of success through your use of twitter.
(Not withstanding that I have never followed you, nor have any knowledge of your trade, be it rent boy or multi-national trawler fleet magnate – I am happy that you are happy.)
If only everyone could be happy – the world would surely be a happier place, ne?
Regards,
Max du Preez (not really)
Anonymoron, I almost liked your humour there for a moment, but now, I am going to have to push you off your little dwarf donkey!
So please, entertain me, show me how twitter has worked wonders for you? As @ExMi says, I simply type in what twitter is asking me.
The fact of the matter, Anony-ag-whatever-you-wanna-call-your-tweeting-self, is that you are still hiding, you can’t actually bring yourself to revealing your identity for fear of rebuke. Had you actually put a real name to your presence, there would have been some background (and possibly some validity) to your comments. But, as long as you are a nobody, we feel nothing for saying what has been said, and what will continue being said…
@ExMi
no sense of humour?
Absolutely. I’m sat here in my office in my grey suit and grey shirt, sporting a natty grey tie with my grey hair combover combed over and a completely straight face. Completely.
That bit about Mshlozi and the bin-liners? Gospel.
I actually do believe I’m him. Stroo.
I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST USED THAT STROO THING.
I really would like my donkey back now please, Jason.
Yes. Please wash it first.
Use Jik.
You are on your donkey. My name Justin by the way
OMGollyGosh!
“If you didn’t tweet it, it didn’t happen?”
versus
“when have i EVER tweeted about bowel movements?
doo-doo is definitely on my no-no list.”
That explains why you’re so full of – sorry mother, yes, I’ll be there in just a moment! – now where was I?
Ag – never mind.
hugzunkussus,
A large block of Gouda.
Lol… anyway… just an FYI
Girls don’t poo. not ever. Is stroo
@Justin
The donkey said you were, yes.
@Anony – The little dwarf donkey said what? It said my name is Jason? Yeah, definitely think you need a new one.
Dear Max/Jacob/whatever you’re calling yourself these days.
you sound like a fine chap. and byron didn’t think that your comment was directed at him, he was merely defending me, as friends do. Like SheBee said. You think my use of twitter is crap, others disagree. My follower numbers decrease and increase in varying amounts daily. And it doesn’t bother me much.
and my comment regarding your lack of a sense of humour was merely an attempt(probably a piss-poor one, like my use of social networking)to get you to see that this is all light-hearted stuff, dude.
light hearted. after all, despite having no gag-reflex, i am NerdMag’s Gags Girlie, aren’t I?
And in response to this:
“If you didn’t tweet it, it didn’t happen?”
versus
“when have i EVER tweeted about bowel movements?
doo-doo is definitely on my no-no list.”
That explains why you’re so full of – sorry mother, yes, I’ll be there in just a moment! – now where was I?”
like byron so wisely noted – GIRLS DON’T POO.
Jason/Justin – You broke my ass.
ExMi – I only voiced my opinion.
Like the DA and it’s slightly modified Swart Gevaar campaign for this year’s election, if I were to “come out” and reveal myself, then the short term gain would surely be outweighed by the long term destruction of my online life by your cronies – with or without your blessing. So I couldn’t and can’t do that.
It’s been an interesting ride since I was directed to the geekmag place this morning. I haven’t once tweeted about it, which is, I’m told, slightly less vocal than you and SBG have been. Now there’s a surprise.
I will have the last word then (unless somebody else does).
And the last word will be staircase.
Yours,
Liezl from Idols.
Liezl from Idols -
have been dying to get hold of you, so thanks for replying.
PLEASE, if you’re going to do the show again next year, make sure they hire GOOD stylists this time. your hair/outfits were always appalling.
oh wait.
you’re hiding behind all these false personas. keep forgetting. must be this whole short attention-span thing i’m battling with here.
and of course SBG and I have been vocal about this – that’s the point of this whole thing, isn’t it? to attract readers and/or comments.
and that was certainly achieved, no?
so. on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the worst) just how *crap* is my use of twitter?
HAHAHA absolutely hilarious, I think you all in most parts lost your sense of humour over Anony’s comments – except well Anony him/herself.
@wezzo – no no darling, my sense of humour always remains firmly intact.
in fact, my boyfriend often tells me that i have a very bizarre sense of humour, and see the funny side in things that often aren’t that funny.
anonymoose/liezl/jacob/max has been keeping me in stitches the entire day, while am doing some other, rather tedious work.
so thanks, anon.
and thanks for your opinion.
am about to go put it in my pipe and smoke it
ExMi – It’s yuge.
Sorry – I lapsed into my Afrikaans-speaking alter-ego for just a second. Go Sasha-Lee – the ‘yole of Atlantees us be’yind yoo!
If I had to be honest, I would mark you at about a 3. But I’m being a whole lot more Gareth than Randall in doing so. If followers are actively turned away by the frequency and trviality of your tweets, then how can that honestly be considered “good” use of the system?
There is, of course, a much more serious side to this. As has been pointed out in many of the more trashy dead tree press, twitter is a tool that can like to reveal a psychological imbalance in some users. A desperation for attention, a craving for understanding. Please don’t take offence when I suggest that you are one of the most prolific, yet one of the most banal users of twitter I have come across. When tools (eek – it’s that ‘good’ word again) are used to assess psychological well-being, then the extremes are not good places to be.
Were I a qualified medical professional, I would be buying anti-virals like there’s no fucking tomorrow, but the caring, sharing side of me would maybe still take time out to tell you to go and see someone over your addiction and your use of twitter.
Dr.Phil. (D.Phil (OxonPoxonSchmoxon))
haha, am loving anon’s comments
pretty much all of my tweets are random, or about my daily life – but i try not to tweet too often (like more than 10 times a day about regular stuff)…
in the beginning ….
computers were only accessible by the likes of NASA and a mainframe weighed a few tonnes. Today, there’s a pc in every household, and even though initially computers were meant for BIG BUSINESSES, your average joe is using his home computer to play games, stream video, play poker or even tweet about his bowel movements
Phones used to be a luxury item, and if you had a touch pad phone, you were seen as elite, today if your cellphone doesnt support 3g, blootoof and no camera well youre pretty much fucked.
Facebook started out as a simple way of connecting with people and it was initially reserved for colleges in the US, today you can set up an event and invite friends and relatives, sell stuff, advertise to a particular market segment, look through your best friends wedding photos and install a dating app to hook up with random chicks.
Where am I going with this? Well technology and these tools are wonderful in the sense that anyone can use them for any purpose.
So fucking what if people tweet about their every 2nd move. After it its a MICRO BLOGGING site.
Definitions of blog on the Web:
* read, write, or edit a shared on-line journal
* web log: a shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences and hobbies
Micro-blogging is a form of multimedia blogging that allows users to send brief text updates or micromedia such as photos or audio clips and publish them, either to be viewed by anyone or by a restricted group which can be chosen by the user. Users micro-blog about particular topics that can range from the simple, such as “what one is doing at a given moment,” to the thematic, such as “sports cars,” to business topics, such as particular products. Many micro-blogs provide short commentary on a person-to-person level, share news about a company’s products and services, or provide logs of the events of one’s life.
its really simple, you dont like it, dont follow.
Paul, you historian, you.
Eloquent, detailed, careful, showing extensive research, but above all, really fucking dull.
But no. Seriously. Hi. Where have you been? Trying to remove a copy of “The Internet for Dummies” from your poopshoot, perhaps?
I wish you success with your endeavours. No-one likes a basic web guide up their ass.
We did the whole “If you don’t like it, don’t follow” thing pretty close to the beginning. It was, in fact, the crux of my initial comment, being that I didn’t like, so I chose not to follow.
What you seem to be be missing is that this was possibly a post about how (potentially) twitter could be (potentially) overused. Hence my comments on @ExMi’s (potential) overuse of the service.
Your repetitive comments and obsequious tone are both unwelcome and unwelcome to me. They are also misguided, misogynistic, misinterpretable and mis-ty. In a switch-your-fog-lamps-on kinda way, that last one.
I have to go now. Satan and all his little demons are knocking on the door and I want to chat to them about the state of the bathroom.
Yours,
Jenny Fridge.
@Paul – Applause!!! wooohooo!!
) “Who is da man?” You are!
In the words of Lendel ( considering we are on a slight Idols theme
Anonymous, your return comments are kak funny and well thought out, for that I applaud you, throughout this day, I have been in stitches at the comments and banter – very fun!
Anyway, before we all begin to repeat ourselves even more so…
How’s this weather today?
oh and on-topic…
I dislike people that follow me that have no updates or are only trying to lure me into their $5/month *free* vagina fest. It’s not cool.
oh and I really dislike twitter meme’s, especially ones like this one
Byron Rode – Ha! You must think I am foolish, stupid, foolish and stupid, even. If I reveal what the weather is like, you may be able to track me down like a GPS tracks down someone who has it in their pocket.
It’s been a little warm for my liking today, despite the snow that may or may not have been falling and the temperatures which haven’t been this high or low since the last time they… were.
I am not in Bloemfontein. That’s all you’re getting.
Nice to see the sun again, or was it?, since there was so much cloud and hail and rain, and blue skies and typhoons and tycoons and dust storms and thunderbolts and lightning (very, very frightening ME!)
Galileo Galileo Figaro.x
How come I never get free vagina fest invites?
Actually – let’s not go there.
Magnifico… I see a little silhouette of a man….
Nice Queen rendition, and seriously, the weather question was more a focus switcher than a question to locate your location.
Although, if I really did want to pick it up, I could connect to the nm.co.za server and get your IP address from the logs, trace it to your ISP, and possibly your location approx, get your computer, screen resolution, referring sites and what not else from GA, but really I don’t need to, or want to.
I think it would be unwise to reveal yourself now, not for slanderous purposes, but it keeps that whodunnit element going here, and I for one, am a HUGE fan of Sherlock Holme-sweet-holmes and his sidestand Watson-her-face…
Anon, that my friend is a superhero secret…
@anon Wahahaahahahaha!!!!
You know, I know morons like you, they use beeeg words to try sound intelligent. How does one have an obsequious tone amongst peers? I have no one to brown nose here and certainly not you; a faceless, nameless entity that tries to hide behind half a wit and a few big words.
I’ll let you keep your opinion that my comments are misguided, misinterpretable and mis-ty (which by the way was a very poor attempt at humour)
But misogynistic ?? Do you even know what that means? My comments were completely unbiased to any sex. And if you were just throwing the word in there to seem smart, well you just made yourself look like an ass – unless of course you REALLY took offense to the word “chicks” just replace it with “people” there, problem solved!
If you’re a guy then you’re definitely some kind of poofter for wanting to beat me with the “don’t refer to women as chicks” rap but if you’re actually a woman that took offense to that, well honey it’s time to clean that sand out your fanny and get laid.
You wanna know what the best part of this is?
Is that my reply wasnt even aimed at you, it was a general statement in the context of the argument that you spawned and not aimed at anyone specifically so I am REALLY flattered that you would think that I would want to attack you in anyway, trust me, youre not THAT special – if my reply was meant for you I would have adressed it to you the way I did my previous reply and this one.
How do you get off thinking the world revolves around you?
Hugs Paul.
You’re far more intelligent than I ever gave you credit for. Or maybe it’s just that Collins English Dictionary up your jacksie. A veritable reference library in your anus.
But either way, you’re still fucking dull.
Byron Rode – I’m connecting via SAIX. Good luck.
And now, I’m afraid, I must disappear. But maybe we can continue this some other time. Get @ExMi to drop me a tweet when you’re ready to chat again. It’s been a blast.
Dennis. (Not my real name)
Whoa what a conversation, it’s a true mind fuck to think that Twitter is thought of anything more, or less than a conversational medium. As in the real world, if you are eavesdropping on a conversation which offends your cerebral cortex well then walk away, apply the same principle to twitter – walk away.
Nevertheless I like your style anonymous, you ought to come and write for us, although I could have sworn I’d seen your style of writing elsewhere.
Bye lovey-poohs.
Hahaha how dare you…you sly devil. You’re quite SheBee perhaps too quick for some, but I assure you one swift kidney punch and Talita’s sharp wit in your side..and you’re finished.
Ah but you forget – I have the infamous booblets in question…
I have the guns of doom, Pistol Pete and Iron Mike…
vince – is pistol pete who i think he is?
I don’t blog about my sex life, and too many links is what annoys me.
@angel if tweeting/blogging about trying to conceive isn’t talking about your sex life, then i don’t know what is….
Mwaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… I never thought of it like that.
Oh em gee, this has kept me entertained for the good part of half an hour! I can’t think of a day without my twitter mates. I’m from cape town. Been in Joburg 9 months. And i’m fabulous, have my own real friends, succesful and the girl next door, yet, i have met the most amazing and equally fabulous people in Jozi thru twitter, and ExMi being one of the many has made me feel welcome, at home and part of the crowd. I can’t think of a day without her tweets. The angels, jenty’s, louiseb.s, jacksonfile’s, 8unnie’s, snowgooses, and others are the one’s that make twitter and Joburg more fabulous. If u don’t like it, twitter along, hmk. I’m just saying
Random is one thing, but excessive non-stop random every 5-30 minutes is another thing.
It’s balance – say what you need to say, as often as you like, but in all honesty if you’re flooding twitter with inspiring quotes and I see 5 all in a row, I will most likely unfollow.
So too much is more about too much for readers than twitters – and annoying Americans who share their annoying tweets at an annoying rate is what I define as ‘too much’.
Much as Anon is harsh and missing the point, I do have to agree with the devalue thing to a degree. If it interests me, then fine and generally as long as I’m enjoying the tweets, it’s all good.
But sjoe, those friggin motivational quotes are so not cool!
Oh hat! What an entertaining day! Thanks Anonytool, you really had me in stitches, bwahahahahhaha. Eyore misses your ass.
hoo boy…
@anon – I didn’t come back earlier to read your reply because I had a soccer match to go and watch which was far more entertaining than trying to exchange witticisms with you.
Your insults were wholly uncalled for as I did not insult you.
I don’t have anything against you because I do not know you, I will give you credit though because your snappy answers and sharp comebacks did incite a few giggles, however… riddle me this… why is it that people like you cannot argue without being insulting?
You can call me dull, say I have encyclopedias up my ass but it’s true.
Alfred Adler once wrote about how those suffering from an inferiority complex often try to compensate by trying to belittle and insult other people, especially within a group environment. The tactic is to be condescending and insulting in order to try and achieve acceptance from the group while at the same time trying to achieve some kind of a mental victory in a non existent battle to attain psychological superiority over another person. The need to victimise a target also helps take the focus off themselves and their own shortcomings, insecurities and faults. This stems from a narcissistic need to achieve social status due to hidden existential and psychological needs which funny enough and more often than not, stem from, and I quote:
Do you know me to insult me? Does it make you feel good when you insult someone you do not know?
If insulting me really makes you feel better, go ahead. I’m pretty thick skinned and you probably need to get it out of your system and I’m glad I could help in anyway.
*hugs* right back at you
hugs to everyone.
and yes, i am tending to agree a *little* bit with paul.
the anonymity blows. why the need to be anon, seriously?
justin – i have to say. ‘anonytool’?
fucking priceless dude.
nice one.
Oh lordy, this was funny!! Can’t believe I missed this yesterday!
My, my.
Quite a fanbase here.
And this after just one innocent comment on one innocent post. I should be on the TV. Or in movies. Hollywood, Bollywood, Nollywood – there are a veritable Table Mountain of opportunities out there for me. As long as none of them mind me keeping my anonoymity anonymous. I could be ‘Bystander 3′ or ‘Character with paper bag over their head’. Are there Oscars for extras? There damn well should be.
BecauseI, no… wait… that’s someone else. OR IS IT??? (Yes, it is).
Because why should I reveal my identity? And open myself up to the wrath of khan, or the grapes of wrath or indeed anything even vaguely wrathy or wrathesque.
And there is a stir in the South African Twittersphere.
“Who is this Anonymous Twitter User?”, they are asking.
“I don’t know, s/he’s anonymous,” others are replying. “Can’t you work that out from the name, you doos?”
And while there have been some on here – most on here – who have taken these comments in good humour, there are already the odd one or two (mainly those with RBD, Rectal Bookshelf Disorder) who I’m sure would love to know from whence I came so that they can come and troll over over all my lovely stuffs. No chance, Jose. Or whatever.
ATU are remaining as A as I possibly can. Which is quite A, as far as I can work out.
Yours,
Currently #swineflu free,
Sanath Jayasuriyah III.
okay anon.
you’re old news. *yawn*
short attention span i have – am over this. i had fun, hope you did too.
but frankly, my dear, i don’t give a damn.
ps: one last little childish moment.
“chicken shit”.
(insert appropriate clucking noises and associated elbow flapping)
@anon
I’m with ExMi on this one, you’re trying too hard to be funny now and it’s gotten boring, and you call me dull? pot kettle black or something.
You need new material.
Paul, my sweetheart. Fuck you very much for your kind words.
Am off to get in touch with Miss Sheebers to see if she was serious about wanting me to write for NM.co.za.
You think you’re over me?
Dream on, my angel.
Pass the biltong, would you?
Ooh – Kudu. My favourite.
Sue Yesterday. xxx
yay! I win.
@anon – even though you’ve failed to tickle my funny bone today, others haven’t.
here’s something that i really enjoyed: http://snowgoose.co.za/thurfriday-funny/
(and yes. a laugh. and yes, it’s at your expense)
awesome.
This is how I felt it would end.
Everyone turning on me.
And the assumption that I have a beard.
I did LOL, although I refrained from ROTF and my ass is still very much attached to my lower back and the tops of my legs.
Goodbye, cruel world. It’s been a blast. Until it wasn’t anymore.
Till next time.
Clean Shaven ATU…. out. x
And I never said “hate”.
Maybe I am tired, Maybe not, well I think I am – but I digress, this is all going too far. Who is turning on who and what not now?
It was funny yesterday, it now just seems like too much of a mission.
I say lets round it up.
* Anon remains anon (so be it)
* We all get back to our shitty (sic) social existance, and before you know it, Monday morning, this is all just a fart in the wind – smelly and funny at first, but once the vapours evaporate its all forgotten – and it becomes one of those, remember when I farted conversations – slightly amuzing – but not as much impact as the actual fart.
Ok, so that was random. I think it is time I go now.
Cheersbye
@byron – I believe if you take deeper breaths, the fart dissapears quicker
To the people who have asked if I am “Anonymous Twitter User” (or “Anonymous Twtter User”):
I’m flattered, and I have agreed with much of what they have said, but I am not.
Figures that this would start up the day after I stopped following @SheBeeGee (I didn’t follow you for a long time at first and then I did and it was cool for a while but you tweet too much for me. I thoroughly enjoyed meeting you tho, I treasure our little conversation we had in the parking lot to this day
. I remain a loyal Nerdmag reader).
I am also “An ExMi ex-follower”, for the same reason and cus deep down I’m actually more about the “boring swine-flu stuff”. I’ve met her in person and she too is tres cool.
Yours in followship,
@nickjackson
ok ok. I give in. It was me the whole time. It’s been kak funny though. You must admit.
Hope you can all forgive me for the totally horrible things I have said. I thought it would be a good joke. I got totally carried away.
All flaming can be directed at http://www.twitter.com/byronrode
kthxbaai.
Jacob (Ex ATU) Zuma the 5th from Brakpan
Nick, we’ll always have the carpark memories and facebook baby. Wink wink
Hahaha, what fun.
errrr peasants… Please do not attempt to hijack my (non) identity.
Who I am does not matter – Sorry for any lost sleep over such a trivial matter. NOT!
I’m deeply flattered though, but there can only be one me.
adios
The real slim shady
Oooh, Anon – I was being dead serious about you contributing. Let me know if you’re keen. Create a real anon address and mail me. It’ll be interesting to see if you can keep your secret identity too.
@The Fake Anonymous Twitter User, your style seems almost on par with that of mine, however peasants – not the word I would have chosen.
I have revealed my identity, why not flame me like you chose to whilst I was anonymous, or are you afraid that I may come back and spoil your shit.
free hugs to the next 5 commenters.
asalamalaykum
@L33t N3rd
am rerouting my ip address via a proxy and 3G.
2 free hugs if you can find me.
Riddle me right, riddle me wrong, the sea would shine brighter than our sunny star, views from close, views from afar, can you tell, who i are?
well now. seems like you fakers are having a field day in my absence. you couldn’t find out who I was, so you decided to pretend to be me?
very entirely and utterly sad. some might even stoop so low as to say pathetic. but not I.
I’ll keep my comments to myself, like I should have in the first place.
Perhaps it was the assumption that I had a beard that hurt my feelings. Perhaps not
and you can keep your free hugs, if you don’t mind.
Fact is, none of you are really me – @shebeegeebeeheehaw can see that from the IP addresses, can you not, my little princess?
I are me, there can be only one! (Lambert, Christophe Lammy-pie)
Byron Rode, you are such a wannabe. You couldn’t be me. You don’t have the natural flair, nor the Boardman’s storecard. Have you seen their occasional tables for winter – stunnink, darlink, simply stunnink. I am, however, flattered that you wish to pretend to be a pretender to my throne.
Ms Sheebers, I shall continue to consider my options over this extra long weekend that we South Africans have thanks to dear Blade and his SACP and foresee that I will be in contact with you early in the month of May. 2009. AD.
That is, should I not have died from rather dull #swineflu or from being followed by I’m sorry @nickjackson, woohoo, I am for REAL. I never meant to make your daughter cry, fo shizzle!!
Yours, in holiday spirit,
Tren Bovato. (not, as you may have guessed, my real name).
You know ive just read these comments now.
Anonylooosahhh… funny, its may. you anonyloosahs have a habit of appearing in may. around the ides usually.
use unfollow, quit whining and go fap because im gonna go tweet a bowel movement.
yes, i will include details of turgidity, aroma and stamina required to force it out.
Useful stuff, but the theme don’t display properly on my Powerbook…maybe you should check that out. Thanks, anyway.
Well, anonyloosah, isn’t “unfollow” just such a wonderful option? I’m sorry you feel so strongly about how useless we might be, I’m definitely not sorry you decided to unfollow us though. I’d hate for you to be insulted by pubical trimming or (god forbid!) any more cleavage shots. Luckily for us, over 1600 followers (collectively) disagree with your sentiments
Kthxbi!
Yup, it’s official – we have some funny readers here on NerdMag
Hee hee, we all know I’d have to stay FARRRR away from any donkey with *my* co-ords.
LOL. Here’s what Steve is talking about: http://shebee.posterous.com/just-for-todays-nerdmag-anonyloosah-herewith
I hope not, I do hate to entertain trolls…
He has his right to object though, we’re (well, Exmi – every one LOVES me) not everyone’s cuppa tea and that’s acceptable.
Oh how disappointing this whole thing is. Yes – we’re a community, yes – we stand together. But it wouldn’t have been the first time any of disagreed on some point. I will admit to being stung by the “latest drama/ailment/sob story” comment. Sure, there’ve been a few I’ve spoken about but the reality of it is, I make my living online mostly which allows me to deal with these twitter people on a personal basis. I’d go as far as to say that they’re my friends. And friends support is invaluable. Like I said in my previous comment, unfollow by all means if you don’t like what I’m tweeting about.
It’s just the way you said it that got our back up, anonymous or not.
Would it be completely hipocritical of me to offer you a writing post on NerdMag JoeSoapLiezlMaxDennis? You’ve had me in stitches all day.
Oh my. Look at Sir Hof trying to poach my future NerdMag writer! Arm wrestle, Vince? Rock, paper, scissors? Or maybe you should just stick Talita and I into an arena with some oil?
Nice try Byron, the iP’s don’t match darling.