Nerds know how to talk dirty.
ExMi - Totally Taboo.
Don’t ask me how I know this. But nerds are the best dirty-talkers there are. There’s no need to be dialing one of those 12 digit phone sex lines. Get a nerd on IM, drop some hints, get him going. You could also get a nerd on the phone, but then you have to deal with the heavy-breathing. Which is okay, I guess. If you’re into that whole panting-phone-sex thing.
Not me. I like my dirty, clean. I can read it, and make it sound the way I’d like it to. I can picture the voice, the person saying it. How good it all is only depends on the breadth of my imagination. And my imagination? Let’s just say that it’s boundless and completely restless.
People are always surprised when I tell them I’ve never watched a porno. And even more so when I shrug in response to their ‘you don’t know what you’re missing’ face. I don’t need porn, I have an imagination. What I need are words to fuel that imagination.
Erotic stories are fun. The words are all there, you can feel free to relate to any character, imagine it the way that would rock your world the most. But. Even then, only to an extent.
What am I getting at? Cyber-sex. Sounds charming, doesn’t it? It’s one of the perks of being a nerd. Imaginary sex, with imaginary people. Perfect. Just what I need. Cyber-sex is better than an erotic story, because it’s still someone else writing it for you, but you’re reading the starring role, baby.
And once you’re done. You know, done. You can disconnect and carry on watching Eastenders. In your pyjamas, with no make-up on, and eating dried mango.
Even though you’ve just spent the last forty-five minutes as the naughty school teacher being punished by one of her students.
Ah. Dirty-Talking Nerd-Boys. Bliss.
vincenthofmann
SheBee
AcademicGeek
gogi
gobz
cath-jenkin
JuicyJustin
BlindCripple
supercopygurl
Green_Guerrilla
Cassey
romeogeek
steve-tech
beetle001
Cyber-sex?
No thanks, I prefer the real deal =)
but when the real deal isn’t as plentiful as you’d like it to be?
I don’t have that problem *grin*
There are a number of ways to play this game. IM is cool. And immediate. Email can be deeper, though. You have time to think and write carefully. Every word carefully chosen, calculated to arouse. Emails can tell a story. I say this, you say that. I do this, you do that. I think this, you think that. Or. We can limit ourselves to what I say, I do and I think. Then I cannot choreograph you. I can only describe my actions and words and wait for your response. It can get hot and steamy.
just[B]coz – lucky you.
david – what’s your email address, please?
Its in your Inbox …
ah. i see it now.
thanks.
xx
You make the boys…jizz in their pants !!
I prefer my porn soft and my boys hard…
Hahaha B you love that line as much as I do
Cyber sex is the way forward. Hmmm…fond memories!
@Goblin YEAH!!! I positively loved it!! Still see the guy biting his bottom lip jizzing away!!… hahahhahahaahah! Brilliant!
@ExMi – Tell me just quick-quick.. Do chick nerds get you hot too?? And if so what is your criteria ??
eheheheheheh
..to know me is to hug me…
“And once you’re done. You know, done.” HAHAHHAHA
Cyber Sex, what a lovely topic indeed. I couldn’t agree more with you though, a persons imagination is so powerful. A geek is not a geek until they’ve tried it! Been there. Done that
Then I’m clearly not a geek … does SMS sex count?
100% justB[coz] – Anything digital counts! So, I take it you’re a geek then
Mmk, then I’m 100% geek =)
Haha, classic! Good times!
SMS is exciting though, that anticipated wait between messages is a killer – just saying you know
Yeah … I know =) Still prefer the real deal hah!
Oh hell ya, bugger the “anticipated wait”!
hahahaha! You guys have me in stitches.
*Ahem* can i be queen geek for including cam action?
*ashamed*
Can make for good foreplay though
Cam action!!! Hmmmm … I’ve not been down that road before *bows down to The Queen*
Hehhehehehehe, this discussion is getting out of hand, thank heavens you don’t do video streaming or I might find myself in a difficult situation
[Webcams, webcams, sjoe, now that's excitig!]
HAHHAAHA!
No, those days are long gone. Thank goodness. I think.
HEheheheh, yar, the old webcam hasn’t been turned on in a looooong time!
Hahahha, no comment, behave Sheebs! *spank*
okay. it’s official.
i want in on this action.
cyber-orgy?
Taking a step back from cyber orgy, we should all hook up with cams one night. It’d be hysterical. Party in our respective hoods.
and we all have to wear special outfits. or nothing at all.
ExMi, you missed out on a serious afternoon babe! It was the biggest lol eva!
cam orgy ?
im in
Haha, I was just waiting for the comments to start
well i’m waiting for the SHOW to start.
c’mon chris, i hear you’re quite the cyber-hottie.
show us your bum, love.
Rumours, rumours, who talks such nonsense?
I can’t put a pic of my bum on teh internets
you don’t have to post it on teh interwebz.
just email me.
oh. did i say a pic of your bum?
i meant a pic of the FRONT of your bum
Email it to you, so you can post it on teh interwebz? *tisk tisk*
So forward darling, where’s the foreplay?
i’d never post it on the interwebs. only add it to my Private Penis Collection.
foreplay?
what’s that?
Ah, so my penis would just become one of many and lose it’s uniqueness?
Oooooh laaa la, did you just tell us all you only tackle 1min men?
no i did not.
i might have implied that i am quick to be ‘done’.
but am soon ready to be done, all over again.
and yours would never lose unique-ness.
it would be special, so special baby.
oh, and FYI – the official term for for men of the sort you were referring to – Two Minute Noodle.
You alluded to it
Hahhahahaha, might it make it to your desktop background then?
Ah, well, never had the problem my side and I don’t do guys, so excuse the allowed ignorance
let’s just say that sometimes, just sometimes, it’s acceptable to go to a restaurant, skip starters and go straight for main course, and then dessert.
sometimes foreplay is optional. sometimes even unnecessary.
and yes. completely. desktop background. yours big enough to fill my screen?
Ok, fair enough, I can’t disagree with you on that one.
Let’s just say it’s big enough to fill what it’s meant to fill
You rocking a 24″ LCD there babe?
nope. just a regular 13 incher.
shouldn’t be a problem for you, right?
With some background texture, we should be good to go!
Jesus. And NerdMag is meant to be “for boring articles”, or so I’ve heard…
chris – what would you like for ‘background texture’?
Hmmmm, give me options..
i could give you options, but they’re not suitable for public viewing.
*cluck cluck*
dude. is that like some kind of nerdy mating call?
if so.
didn’t work for me.
what else you got?
Nope, that’s me saying you’re shy..
there’s a difference, i think, between shy and coy.
Well, which one are you?
perhaps a little of both.
perhaps.
I have a feeling that when ChrisM eventually gets a chick naked, he is gonna double click her nipple.
Piece of cake dude, piece of cake
peice of cake? no dude, youre thinking of “How to lure a fat chick into my bedroom”
Hahahhahaha!
I’ll have you know, Paul, that Chris tops my list of sexy geeks. Just saying.
He could double click away without complaint.
ROFL *clickity click*
i have no words.
none.
Does the double-clicked nipple open an application?
“application”, now that’s an interesting synonym
function nippleclick()
{
legs.open(‘wide’);
}
Flirting with Functions
@Paul. You’re describing a loosely written application far too closely coupled. You have attached the user-input layer directly to the business layer. You need middleware somewhere between those 2 actions. There is far more processing to do before the legs.open method is invoked.
I really didn’t think sex could be geeky until ExMi came along and invited you guys to participate in this discussion.
I am now canning myself silently behind the security of my desk.
Nutjobs, the lot of you.
@david please explain the process that must occur before the open.legs method can be invoked.
i’m intrigued.
ExMi – There’s this new invention on the internet, it’s called “private email”.
Hahahaha! You’re creating an epidemic with all the pherimones flying around here.
@ExMi. The process is highly dependent on at least three things:
- The system of which the nipple is a component
- The access privileges of the double-clicker
- The state of the system previous to the double-click
Systems vary widely in their operations. Some systems may respond to a double-click on their nipple by invoking the mouth.moan method. Others may invoke nervousSystem.tingle(spread_downwards). Still others may invoke hand.slap(usersCheek, hard).
But lets examine an example of the processing that might occur in a given system.
Lets assume that the user has read, write and execute (rwx) access to the system (a fortunate user indeed!).
Further, lets assume that the system state is as follows:
mood = GOOD
status = RELAXED
availability = FREE
headache = NO
The nipple.doubleclick method for this state could look something like this:
void nipple.doubleclick()
{
nipple.erect(true)
mouth.smile(seductively)
groin.tingle(slightly)
mood.set(MILDLY_AROUSED)
}
The vast majority of systems will require further user interaction before the legs.open method will be invoked following the initial double-click on their nipple.
David you forget that exmi did say she does sometimes prefer shorthanded script:
i.e.
function nippleclick()
{
echo “screw foreplay – lets get it on”;
invoke.function(‘one.minute.noodle’);
echo “job done”;
}
jaysus. killing myself here.
oh. and paul? can i have two minutes instead of one?
please.
been there.
done that.
liked it lots.
hey I’m ally and I think sms dirty talking is so much fun I get so turned on
LOL. Someone’s been taking notes…
so if anyone wants to talk dirty just ask for my email I think we could have some fun lol
Ally, this isn’t a dating service, your email will not be handed out. Find your own potty mouths.
-Ed.
Wow, I never realised that people could try outgeek *and* outfilth eachother in the same post. You dirtbags.
@stuartpturner you’re actually surprised by this?
Wow. I’ve never actually met another nerd who felt the same way…
Nerd power.
Whoops, hit “Submit” prematurely.
As I was saying… I’ve certainly never met a nerd girl who felt the same way
Also, the method above is made of win.
Hmm, I suppose now that you mention it no, no really. I suppose internet love (which in a way is like a free lovin’ revolution if what’s happened up there is anything to go by
) is where it’s at nowadays
V2Blast – do you often hit ‘submit’ prematurely?
stuartpturner – am definitely agreed. are you taking part in this ‘free lovin’ revolution’?
ExMi – sure – I’m like Jesus, I give my love freely, but that does not necessarily entail my body parts as well. That’s extra.
I have stumble onto a process of understanding why. Why in a since of how some think. The relevance on how computer code was applied is genus. But this goes with the understanding the application of sexual thought patterns need to be fallowed to get the desirable reaction. Observing the conversation was most enjoyable, thanks.
-Snuggles-
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Stop trying to make me beg you to strip Chrispy